When I was re-watching skins (the british shows) the other day, I suddenly recalled my high school memories. I remembered, once, I got an unreasonably difficult visual art project in grade 10. I panicked because it was midnight, the assignment was supposed to be done the next morning, and I got that stupid massive headache. But I ended up fine, cause my mom was there for me. She made me a tea, did my project, and asked me to get some rest. I went to my room and watched skins instead.
My days were always like that. I never got down for too long. Whenever I was stranded, shit happened, or I got an effin frantic day, I always got someone's shoulder to lean on. I could always just go to my room, watch skins. After bearing that other kids somewhere were fucked up worse than I was, I got fixed right away. I was always worried, but I always knew I would end up just fine. Well I was obviously not the most friendful person in the entire world, but, I always, always, got someone to give me one on one help 24/7. And I realized now, that was such a rare thing.
Now, I don't fit in my new classes, people there are just pfft. I got like tons of things to do I couldn't breathe. I never get panicked here, cause I know, no one would even think of lending a hand (I don't know if it's good or bad). Although I got people to throw random thoughts to, but most of the time, they got their own things to do (and it's not their fault). It just feels a lot worse now than it used to be. I think I miss how convenient my life was. I have been very blue these days. I have been feeling very empty.
Yesterday, Carley introduced me to her friend, Sara, a really nice and friendly girl who happens to love photography (I wish I had a camera that good). The weather was just perfectly suiting my mood when Carley initiated us to walk down the lake. The sky was a little bit shiny and gloomy, the snow was on the ground, the wind was not so cold, perfect.
And there we were, enjoying the scene of a beautiful lake, watching swans doing nothing, pondering what does life really mean (?) (or at least, I was).
